Deep thoughts — about my life the miracle

 I woke up pretty early. Started up my day as usual with my morning study, my morning listening to calming music and with prayer. 

I then showed up half an hour early to the pool, and I just waited and thought about a lot of things.

The manager of the day showed up right on time

And we opened up the building together, me back in the pool and him in his area

I really like working at the pool because every day is new,  I get to talk to somebody new, and even though sometimes people don’t even show up, I always get a work out. I always get to improve me in some way while I’m there.

It’s great, i am so blessed for volunteering and helping other people.

I don’t know why I deserve this. 

But I am grateful for it.

 I am so grateful for it. 

I wish I could describe, what it felt like for 18 years to Not be able to walk normal and getting worse by the day

 till i could not walk at all….

to feel crippled…..

 To always feel broken in all the things that I did,

it’s so hard now to tell people….

because people look at me now.

And they say,

 “oh you don’t know what you’re talking about, you look normal,

 you’re fine,”

and they walk away

They don’t give me a chance, for me to share the amazing, amazing miracle that happened in my life…

 Most people I have to show my scar cause they just don’t believe it……

…..

Hey, I couldn’t walk……. 

my legs quit working…….

I had to have emergency surgery…..

I got to the point where I was saying……

What do I do now …. God

What………

When I was pleading with God saying why, why why 

Later that day almost a year ago…..

after my prayer, after I was pleading with God….

I had some senior missionaries knock on my door, 

who I knew very well, because I grew up with them in the same area where they were, 

and I trusted them. 

And they talked to me for a while, it was great, 

 just to see somebody……

who I knew that cared about me…..

Later that night, I felt inspired to ask for a priesthood blessing from the senior missionaries who knocked on my door, 

In this blessing it promised me….

IF I trusted God

 and if I was making my Body better, 

to do good, 

with righteous reasons

 and If I put the work in to it.

To get my body better, 

Where I could have hope for the future to improve, 

I had a promise that God would help me.

The spirit was so strong…so strong……

 I Cannot deny it. 

I truly believe that God put motivation, courage, strength, and determination in me because…….

 I’ve never had that before!

.

 I was always weak

.

 I was always lazy. 

.

I was always so full of myself……. that I couldn’t see Him, GOD….

It was when I truly humbled myself and I went to God and I prayed to Him

I  begged with Him and     I     KNOW      HE     listened !!!

I Know It….

I can’t explain why i am able to do the work I am able to do today

But I know God loves me !

And I never knew that before….

I did in some small little way

 I wanted to believe that God loved me

but my life was just so miserable

it was so dark

I was so angry

I was so miserable

I was so weak

I was not who I wanted to be

who I pictured….. 

in the life I wanted…..

When I was a child………

I am so grateful God heard me…

I Testify to everybody!

 everybody !  

reading this.

Get down on your knees and Pray to your Heavenly Father

It doesn’t matter what you say……

He wants to hear you…

He is in your life…..

He is listening…..

He is in your life…..

He knows you….

He will send you blessings….

I don’t know why God is allowing me to walk

I don’t know why God is allowing me to talk 

I don’t know why God is allowing me to share my poetry, my writings, all my journal

But I am praying to God 

It gives hope to at least one person out there reading this…….

::David::

5-19-24