My hope of last year

Last year, I had a strong desire to change, And I said if I ever get baptized, I would like to have my strongest most spiritual nephew that I know do it for me.

He knows my body very well. He knows my struggles on how I can move and I know he loves me.

And so I asked him, And almost a year ago he said absolutely, and he gave me a big hug. 

That gave me hope…

But all I could see was for 4 families, That might come to my baptism. I knew it was my parents. My nephew, his family, His parents And my amazing sister and her family.    I couldn’t picture anybody else….

 I had nobody in my life.

 I was alone,

 even as I was coming back to God 

I was alone.

 But I have to tell you, the Lord has worked a miracle every day in my life. 

Since my hope began.

One year ago, all I had was hope to be baptized to become free of all my stupidity I brought on myself.

I was alone wandering on the path, not knowing which way to go

But knowing in my heart where to go….

And even though I was alone…

God had a path For me…

This sounds really weird now, But I am so grateful I shattered my back, 

It hasn’t been easy, Probably the worst thing I’ve ever done.

But because of all this free time, I’ve gotten to see things that I would’ve never seen before,

 I’ve gotten to talk to people- amazing people

I have met so many friends in this past year. 

If I would’ve had a regular job, 

If I would have never broke my back

I would’ve never met the amazing people in my life…. 

And even though I pleaded with God, why why and I just felt like my life kept going down down down further further further and I keep pleading with God why why why.

Not knowing 

why I had to struggle.

I now see……

 I now understand….

Thank you, God…..

I look forward to see how many people come to my baptism this coming Thursday, 23 May.

I have faith. I have knowledge that more than four families are aware of me, in my life.

I never felt that…I never knew that…

And I don’t want anyone to ever feel that again….

I want to go help people….

Help them feel like they’re special……

I want to be there for them…

This world is a lonely place, when you’re on your own……

 when you’re by yourself….

I need to be the better man…..

I need to learn from my sorrow..

from my pain..

from my emptiness.

 that I had for 40 years on my own…

And I need to seek those out that feel this way

I need to show them that people care

Because I don’t see it, in this world !

Don’t get me wrong there are good people

 But there’s not very many.

And when people feel like I did.

When nobody cares…

I truly understand why people don’t want to live anymore !

And it tears my heart up…

Why have we let this world get this bad?

I want to make a difference, 

I want to show God that there is good out in the world 

I want to show my sisters and brothers

That it’s not all bad, It’s not all sorrow.

What can I do to serve…….

to lift up………

to bless……… 

to guide……

to bring people out of the sorrow……..

 that I was in for 40 years? 

How can I change the world?

What Actions can I take?

How can I show love?

I don’t know. I haven’t had very many good examples in my life.

But I have the scriptures, And in them are full of people trying to do good….serving God!

I’m going to learn from them….

And because God gave me this new renewed strength…..

This new ability to walk…..

This new desire to love…..

I choose…

 To be a disciple of Jesus Christ…

::David::

5-18-24